last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
