I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
