even my farts smell like vagina
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
