Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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