Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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