i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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