My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
