I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
