Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
