it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
