so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
