check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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