I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
