Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
