Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
