My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
