I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
