omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize