Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
