Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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