I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
