At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
