shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
