OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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