My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
