How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I didn't notice because vodka
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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