dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All the doctor said was why
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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