I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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