I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
