Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
