She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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