i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
