I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
