It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
