he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
