And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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