The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
