Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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