i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
