I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize