hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
