I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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