Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
