Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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