no, he came in my armpit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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