Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
