WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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