I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
