tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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