Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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