Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
