My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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