so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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