omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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