I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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