she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
