Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
