I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
