I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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