One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
