well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
