we're blogging at a bar
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
