could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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